Shattered dreams

I recognise the location as I approach the equator line close to Queen Elisabeth National Park. Two years ago I had been there as well, backpacking. But this time I was actually quite emotional. In Kenya crossing the equator hadn’t affected me at all, but here in Uganda it suddenly dawns on me that I have driven my bike to the equator. I didn’t just board a plane and fly; I have driven my bike from the 51st parallel north to the equator. I’ve dreamed of doing this, and now I’m living the dream man. I am actually living the dream!

Half an hour later it’s all over. My beautiful dream turns into a nightmare, is actually shattered into pieces. I have no clue what is happening or what happened. Some 10 or 15 people are around, grabbing me, pulling my arm, urging me to go to hospital. All I can do is look around -eyes wide open- in a state of total shock and disbelief. What the hell?? Huh? What??…… What the hell???

I look around, move my head from left to right, then back again. I try to make sense of what I see and hear. Come to hospital! Huh, what?!… NO… what the hell… Tell me what happened. What da fok happened?!?

People keep yelling at me. Why are these people yelling at me? It makes no sense. It totally makes no sense at all.

Where am I?

What time is it?

Huh??

What the hell happened??

All these people.. why are all these people here? And my bike.. OH NO, why does my bike look like this. Fuel is leaking from the right tank, the fairing is in bits, the radiator looks strangely twisted. But the spare tube that I carried inside the fairing is neatly placed on top of the bike… HUH? What the hell happened?!?!?!

Still, I have no clue what is going on here. I’m still in a state of shock and disbelief. But the second I see the bike, I have this clear moment. I don’t know what happened, I tell myself, but if this is real then my trip is over.

The thought hits me hard. I need to sit down for a minute. I fight back the tears. What the hell happened? Where am I? Where is the equator? I was at the equator until 14.20.. tell me where I am!? What time is it… I’m still trying to make sense of it all.

They tell me it’s 15.05 and the equator is some 5kms from here… What the hell happened?!?

Some guy guides me into the shade. You have to go to hospital, he says. My leg is feeling more and more painful now, I can barely walk. As I sit down, my chest aches. As I take off my gloves, I see my right hand is swollen. Meanwhile, sweat is gushing out my pores. Okay, Okay, I’ll go to hospital… but PLEASE, someone please tell me, what the hell happened?!

You had an accident, he replies.

I am carried to the UWA pickup truck and without too much concern for my well-being I am pushed into the passenger seat. Accompanied by Gerald and the driver, we go to Kilembe. The rush of adrenaline that must have kept me up and going so far, is now subsiding and pain is everywhere. There are speed bumps everywhere; they hurt like crazy.

I’m taken into Kilembe Miner Hospital. The doctor quickly, but barely, examines me, and mostly talks to Gerald. Okay, X-rays it is. But not here, the machine is not working. For that we have to go into town. There are speed bumps everywhere; they hurt like crazy.

The doctor ordered X-rays only for my leg and chest. I order two extra for my hand and neck. The whole procedure is tainted with unfriendliness. The girl yells out her commands at me. Move up, move down. Bi-itch, can’t you see I have a problem?! Stop Shaking! Bi-itch, shut up, I don’t even notice any shaking on my behalf. I tell myself, stay calm, relax, she’s doing her job. But man, does this chick get on my nerves. But I have no energy to fight, I give in, I do whatever she tells me to do.

Then we wait for the results. It takes ages. I still have no clue whatsoever what happened here, so I ask Gerald what he knows.

You had an accident, he says. There’s a junction near the entrance of the park and you overtook a small car there. Hey, wait a minute.. I remember that junction… I remember a car.. two cars maybe…

Yes, two cars. As you passed one, the other slowed down for the speed bumps, and you didn’t know the speed bumps were there. You hit the car and it took you to the left. It looked like you jumped off and fell to the right; the bike fell to the left. Your helmet came off. You were unconscious for 30minutes and then you refused to go to hospital.

Gerald’s story leaves me bewildered. It explains the pains, the injuries, the damaged bike. But I don’t remember anything, not a single thing sound familiar. The junction and the two cars, yeah, I remember those.. vaguely.. I believe one of the cars was blue-ish. But the speed bumps were at least a few hundred meters away from the junction. I have no recollection of that part at all. What the hell???!!

The X-rays show no fractures or dislocations. So basically I am fine, I’m told. It doesn’t make sense man; when I move my arms, I can clearly feel something moving inside my chest. And I am sure this wasn’t like this before… But I guess, this is good news..  I don’t have a lot of faith in it, but I’ll take it.

Back in hospital I’m assigned a bed in the private ward. The other man in the room leaves minutes later. Whether he was really discharged or simply sent away, I don’t know. God will provide, he says as he closes the door behind him.

I’m offered an injection against the pain. But I refuse: no African needles into my body. I’ll take the pain. I’m a biker. I’ll take the pain. The night is as uncomfortable as you can imagine. I can barely take the pain. But then again, maybe I’m no longer a biker….